


high chances that i might lose

by mazabm



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Best Friends to Lovers, F/M, M/M, billy will be dragged kicking and screaming into herohood and hate it, dumb dudes being bros, military years!, reluctant superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-06 00:36:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mazabm/pseuds/mazabm
Summary: If Frank insists on being a hero, Billy will be there to make sure he doesn’t get killed.It’s the least he can do.Or Frank and Billy discover they have powers while on leave. They deal with their new powers and do not talk about the thing growing between them and maybe they become heroes in the process (it's a long process)





	1. you made it personal

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline is a little weird, stick with me. 
> 
> title from 'what's up danger'
> 
> chapter titles from various songs from the Spiderverse soundtrack (it snaps)

_Week One with Powers_

 

Out of all the idiots in New York City, Billy’s not sure how it ends up being them.

“You can fly?”

Billy being so calm and focused about this whole thing kinda pisses Frank off. He’s looking up at Frank like he’s evaluating all the way they can make money out of this, which definitely pisses him off.

“Bill!” The other man puts his hands up, palms out like Frank is a dog he’s trying to calm down, which only upsets him more.

“You’re levitating again.” Billy says as he walks around Frank with careful eyes which can’t quite hide his utter delight at the situation. “Damn!” There is a grin he’s hiding. “This is cool!” Billy says, his inner geek showing.  Frank is rolling his eyes (and falling, fuck, no) “You can’t control it?” Billy asks.

“I didn’t know I could do it until a few hours ago.” Frank says.

Earlier, he had just been taking the trash out and found himself hanging onto a fire escape trying not to go further into the sky. Billy tilts his head up and looks at Frank.  They both have the quiet knowledge that out of everyone Frank could have gone to in this City, out of everyone he trusted, he came to Billy, and Frank looks away.

“Okay, come down,” Billy says it as an order, his voice stern and full of warmth.  Frank descends, inch by inch, being quite relieved when his feet hit the cold, wooden floor.

“I can’t go back like this.” Back to the desert, back into the Marines. He can already see the scenario where he’s floating in the air, a clear target for the enemy and he sees Billy’s eyes, with his arm outstretched, trying to save him. Okay, he should deal with this before dealing with that.

“We don’t have to,” This time Frank is the one looking at Billy, who looks tense and out of his league. “Look, remember when we were talking about getting out, doing something else?  This is our chance.”

Settling down, starting families, it was the dream for people not like them. People not like Frank who had something in him fighting to get out all his life, and not like Billy whose sweet smiles only covered up all the fucked-up places he’s been. Billy, who looks at him with those dark, full eyes and holds out his hands.

“What the?” Frank asks as there are streaks of blue lighting coming off of Billy’s palms, shattering the light bulb in the room plunging them into darkness. “What the fuck happened to us?” Frank asks. He sits on Billy’s bed (unmade, silk sheets, smells like sex, practically a Billy Russo on leave trademark) Billy sits next to him, their shoulders and thighs touch and Frank realizes two things quickly.

One, Billy is just as lost he is.

Two, they’re in this together.

 

“We have a week to learn to control this.”

Billy is pacing his apartment and Frank watches his legs. He’s wearing a pair of gray running shorts, Frank watches where they rise on his thighs when he realizes that Billy has stopped.

“Frankie, are you paying attention?” Frank looks up at him, Billy’s exasperated expression and he’s hit with a wave of affection. There is something different between passion on the battlefield where desperation, pent-up anxiety, being so close to death makes him do stupid things (like kiss the beautiful boy lying in the bunk next to him when he comes too close to being shot) and what his heart is doing now. It still is a lot of trust and loyalty but a little different from the brotherhood in the middle of the desert. This one is a lot more permanent and a lot more terrifying.

“I’m listening,” He says, and Billy goes back to pacing. Frank doesn’t know why he didn’t see it before, the way blue sparks seem to hop off his skin, or that Billy’s very movements have changed. The surrounding air is like a storm on the horizon. It’s obvious, this is dangerous.

“We have to fake it till our contracts are up and not re-up. We can do it.” They look at each other.

“And if we don’t?” Frank asks and everything in Billy’s face closes off from him. There is a wall that Billy Russo has built around everything. There are rare times when he lets Frank in, his time must have been up for the moment.

“Then our own government will probably run experiments on us and then force us to be weapons.”

There are many things their government is but safe for people who are different was not one. Frank rises from where he was sitting on Billy’s couch (which also smelled like sex because Billy Russo is fucking ridiculous) and clasped him on the shoulder.

“They already got as weapons, let’s make sure they don’t experiment on us.”

 

So, they start. Billy has a list of all the things they should try to learn to control their powers and when Frank asks him where he gets it from, he gets all tight and quiet, so Frank doesn’t ask again.

 

“A comic book?” Frank’s pissed. “You think I should jump off the roof because of a comic book?”

Billy’s smile is too sharp, too many teeth, doesn’t reach his eyes. He’s tired of Frank, normally on leave they would see each other at the beginning and then one other time, where they would probably get drunk and pretend, they didn’t have feelings, like guys do. They might be attached at the hip out there but back here, in the real world, they had other obligations, and they also pissed each other off with the constant contact. Like real friends should.

“You have any better suggestions? Any professionals we should call?”  Frank recoils back from him and Billy breathes out, rubs his face, pushes his hair back. “Look I get your scared,” Frank is not, he is not a coward. “But I picked the lowest building I could that we could get access to, it’s late but there could still be people out there.”

He grips Frank’s arm, shocking him in the process but Frank doesn’t flinch.

“I have a feeling, okay? You can do it.” Frank grits his teeth and looks away from his eyes, takes a deep breath. If he dies, he will come back and make Billy’s life a living hell. From how Billy smiles at him, he knows.  

He counts to three,

One.

Two.

No!

There are hands on his back pushing him. and he’s yelling. He’s going to die, and he’s going to come back and kill Billy and,

“No, No, No.” But he’s not falling, he’s levitating. He’s flying.

“Yes! Frankie! Yes!” He hears above him and he laughs and tries to rise until he’s level with Billy’s astounded face, grinning from ear to ear. “I knew you could do it!” Billy says, as he pulls at Frank’s hoodie. Frank leans in (and their mouths are so close they could,) then Frank’s falling again forcing him to refocus. Billy looks at him with those eyes and they’re both laughing but Billy leans back.

“Around the block and back, Castle, we don’t know how much juice you got, let’s test it. Frank listens, Billy’s comic books might be onto something.

 

For Billy, they spar. That is different because lunging at an opponent is suddenly difficult when you go flying an extra five feet in the air, crashing into a wall. Billy laughs at him and gets a pillow thrown at him, which he promptly makes explode with his lightning. When Frank sees his dumb expression as the fluff from inside the pillow floats down around him, he can’t help a laugh. Billy takes his moment of weakness to attack and Frank runs. Billy fucking hurts. He’s like a battery, seems to absorb the surrounding energy, the lights pulsate every time he takes a move. Each time he touches Frank, it’s like he’s being set on fire, so Frank runs. He dodges out the way of Billy’s hands, goes for his waist, uses his legs to take Billy to the ground. Bill, who twists and turns out of Frank’s grip shocking him all the way. He’s like an electric eel and Frank would probably say so out loud if he didn’t think Billy would take his head for it.

“Turn it down a notch, Bill.” Frank cautions while they circle each other and when Billy glares at him Frank isn’t prepared for his black eyes sparking blue every time, he seems to want to go for him. It’s so easy to read him Frank could probably break him, it would be so easy.

“Relax,” he says. “Then attack.” Billy takes a deep breath (Frank can see him rebuilding his walls inside his head) and when he opens his eyes, they are his normal black, it thrills Frank to see them. So thrilled, it doesn’t even hurt when Billy takes him down the ground.

They target practice for Billy who puts out the lights from all over the neighborhood (the cops get increased ghost calls for the area, Billy calms down a lot of old ladies)

Billy makes Frank drag cars around a junkyard to practice his super strength, offering him up to people who need a jump or a tow. Frank punches him after the fourth car. Frank throws beer bottles at Billy to practice his aim, the thunk the bottle makes when he misses is funnier than his shocked expression every time, he shatters the glass.

They both try mediation, but Frank gets impatient in the first hour and even Billy admits its dumb. Neither of them has any clue of what they might do in the middle of a firefight (Frank can see him flying to grab one of their fellow soldiers off of an IED, can see Billy messing with the signal of the only phone on base by absorbing all its energy). It’s dangerous for them to go back but it’s not like they can’t. They can’t just quit the Marines. It’s all their lives, they got nothing for them back here, no family anymore, some friends but everyone else is dead or gone, not everyone, he reminds himself; they got each other.

Which is still not something he touches with a five-foot pole because he still believes there is a difference between battle fraught kisses and touches and actual (sleeping in the same bed, supporting each other, loving each other) relationships. Frank’s not gonna mess up what he and Billy have, as partners in this fucked up thing, where they went from (relatively) normal to people with powers literally overnight. No one else gets what he’s going through so he’s not gonna fuck it up by getting his dick wet.  He knows he could, knows it could be so easy, but it doesn’t. Not even when he comes over in the early morning to see Billy who’s still on the left side of conscious, looking up at Frank with those soft barely awake smiles and then scowling because he doesn’t want to wake up any earlier than ten on his vacation. Not even when he’s watching Frank fly with the most exhilarated expression on his face, so open to Frank that Frank knows he could ask him anything and he would get the truth. He doesn’t do it, he doesn’t want to fuck it up.

The end of their week comes way too fast.

“We got to figure out what we’ll do next to guns.” He gestures to Frank. “Like what if you’re bulletproof?” While Frank’s kinda sure he’s not, he moves faster, is stronger than before. Is he faster than a bullet, he’s not sure yet. They didn’t have enough time. The lights flicker again.

“You got to control that.” He says to Billy who grimaces, noticing.

“I’m working on it.” He snaps at Frank who puts his hands up in defense.  Billy doesn’t apologize but his gaze softens. “I know how we got our powers.” He hands Frank a newspaper from two weeks ago.

“An asteroid?” Billy shrugs.

“The timing adds up, that was the first day we were back, it’s right down the street.” They look at each other and Frank can’t hold his gaze. That night they had both been drunk off their ass. He knows Billy is considering if they had been sober that night would they have noticed some change, some difference in them.

“I don’t regret that night.” He feels like he should say it, like he should be the one to have the big confession since it would probably kill Billy to do it. Maybe Billy doesn’t even remember. Frank does.  He tries not to remember the way Billy had grabbed on the back of his neck and pulled him down. He tries not to think about how they were so uncoordinated their faces kept bumping as they tried to kiss, like two dumb teenagers on a first date. He flicks his eyes up to Billy who stares at him coolly.

“We need to get to that asteroid before we leave, it might help us.” Frank is shaking his head.

“There is no time.”

“But,”

“If we don’t go back, we lose everything.” The Marines is all he has, and Billy bites the inside of his cheek. “We just try again next time.”

“What if there isn’t the next time? What if we die or get exposed?” Billy isn’t just scared he realizes, he’s terrified.

“Then we do.” Billy stares at him, something ugly in his eyes. “We made a promise, a commitment. We can’t turn back now.” Billy looks like he wants to argue but he exhales, ruffles his hair.

“When did you get so smart, Frankie, boy?” Frank doesn’t answer him. He doesn’t go home that night, Billy lets him sleep on the couch, throws a blanket over his body.

Frank knows he’s screwed when he sees the desert’s outreach of blue sky and can so easily imagine flying the whole expanse, Billy laughs and throws an arm over his shoulders shocking the shit out of him to where his teeth rattle, and yep, they are so fucked.


	2. on the edge like you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surviving the military, meeting Maria, Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for the scene at the end, it was my first thought coming up with this story.

_Years One, Two, Three with Powers_

 

They’re in danger.

It’s a simple fact, not just because they’re in a literal war zone but because they’re bored as shit.

Not to say there aren’t plenty of scares with their powers.  

There is the time Frank vibrates so hard he levitates and Billy physically has to drag him back to the ground.

“You need heavier equipment, something to keep you on the ground.”

“I can’t just ask for that!”

There is the time where he and Billy are alone in their tents. Frank is experimenting with the busted company guitar when the lights around him flicker in tune with him. He shoots a glance at Billy, he’s smiling like a cocky little shit. Frank doesn’t strangle him, for two reasons.

One, he’s actually the better man.

Two, it was the first interesting thing to happen to him all month.

They’re in the middle of the fucking desert, fighting a war to keep back the terrorists or whatever the bad guy the brass up at the top throw at them. They’re good soldiers but they’re also now the equivalent of a human-powered generator and a knock-off Superman and bored as shit. Frank’s powers don’t take well to it.

Okay, he doesn’t know at first but he definitely knows when he’s training with another soldier and his kick sends the other man across the room into some crates.  There is silence in the gym for a minute, Frank can feel the eyes on him (including Billy’s), which is why he knows when the current in the room shifts. Frank knows it’s Billy, knows it in his bones and pointedly thinks.

 _‘Knock it off, Russo.’_ The current leaves and Frank realizes either Billy heard him or he retook control of his powers and there is a big part of him that’s praying it’s the second.

“Don’t tell me you’re holding back on us Castle.” One man chimes at him as he leaves the gym in search of Billy and it’s easy to laugh and smile. These people are his brothers in arms.

“Must be a good day, that’s all.” He says.

 

It’s the first.

When he walks into his tent, Billy doesn’t turn around from where he is cleaning his equipment (that’s pointless when the next dust storm will drag sand right back in)

“Were you in my head?” It comes out quiet.  Frank’s angry, pissed. It’s childish anger that’s bubbled up because of boredom and frustration. It’s been a long few months. Billy’s got the cool powers, he controls lightning like a God, and now he can read Frank’s mind and what does Frank get? He levitates half the time and he can’t even practice, not how Billy can. Oh shit, he’s jealous.

“I saw you beat Martinez.” His tone is even, Billy is avoiding the situation and Frank isn’t surprised, that’s what Russo does. Looking back on this, Frank isn’t even really that apologetic for what he does next.

It’s easy to let himself up for a minute, to use the added height and strength to grab Billy, to push him hard against the wall of crates. He doesn’t have to hold back with Billy, never has.

“Answer me! You were in my head.” He won’t let Billy ignore him, not this time. Billy’s face turns from surprised to ugly, quickly.

“Let go of me!” That’s all the warning Frank gets before he’s flung across the room.  His hands burn and when he looks up and sees Billy glaring at him, and he pauses. He may have just crossed a line. Billy’s eyes are glowing bright blue, way past sparking. There are streaks of lighting that seem to roll off him. He realizes three big things, in quick succession.  

One, he is turned on as fuck. This display of power is one of the greatest things he’s ever seen. His mouth gapes opens, he’s cowed, and no one has ever been able to do that before.

Two, he is about to die. He overstepped and Billy is about to kill him.

Three, he’s never ran from any fight, he won’t start now.

That’s what spurs him when he gets up and Billy knows what’s he’s thinking and takes a step towards him, it’s going to be so satisfying to fight Billy. But then Frank remembers himself, they’re in the middle of a war zone, in the middle of a Marine base and if they’re caught, he doesn’t know what could happen.  He takes a deep breath and then pointedly thinks.

 _‘Enough, Russo._ ’ Billy takes a step back. ‘ _You are in my head._ ’ “You are in my head!” His curiously takes over his anger. “Can you hear everything?” ‘ _Hear me?_ ’

“Stop,” Billy says, stumbling. He puts his hands up as if it stops Frank from thinking. “You’re giving me a headache.”

He thinks about his wet dreams and some things he’s thought about Billy (yep, Billy’s gonna kill him).

“Can you hear everything?” Billy flinches when he steps closer.  

“No,” That’s a relief. “I think you have to think it at me.”

“Think something at me, maybe it goes both ways.” He waits and besides his own thoughts. “Nothing.” He looks at Billy. “What were you thinking?”

“How stupid we are.” But he no longer looks like he’s in pain, he’s not glowing blue anymore and Frank takes a deep breath, he wants to be sure.

“Hey, earlier, I,” Billy’s eyes narrow and he shakes his head, Frank stops talking.

“Don’t ever touch me like that again.” His voice is cold, his fists are clenched, Frank really overstepped, and he knows it. Frank puts his hands up, even does the girly ass cross over his heart.

“I won’t. Swear.” Then Billy finally giving him an opening because he sits on his bed and looks up at Frank (there are bags under his eyes that definitely weren’t there before he shocked him) ‘ _We good?_ ’ And Frank is going to use this connection to his benefit. Billy closes his eyes.

“We’re fine.”  He looks frustrated saying it but Frank breaths out a breath of relief.

“Good, because when I thought you were going to kill me... That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”  He gets Billy to laugh, yeah, they’ll be fine.

Billy’s powers are in energy transmissions which makes sense in the way he absorbs the light energy around him. He catches snippets of radio transmission and every time he passes the coms tent he gets a massive headache. Frank probably sulks for a week when he realizes that Billy had been keeping information from him. That’s because Billy tells him, he’s easy, spills his secrets like its nothing. But even Billy gets all tight-lipped when Frank responds with,

“Only with you.”

 

So then the point is if Billy deals in energy transmission down to Frank’s very synapses in his brain. What the fuck does Frank have?

 

“You might just be a metahuman. The asteroid might have triggered it in you, it was already in your blood.” They’re drinking (one guy brought some on base, Frank handed over the cash, he got his whiskey) He’s loose, warm.  He’s seated on the ground by Billy’s bed, Billy who hasn’t taken half as many shots as he as.

“I’m pretty sure I would know if someone in my family flew!” Billy looks at him, unimpressed.

“Would you?” It’s debatable. Frank was a bad kid growing up if his parents ever wanted to warn him he might one day be able to fly, would he have even listened to them? He looks at Billy, shrugs his arm out.

“I mean, wouldn’t you?” Billy just looks at him. “Right, you’re a foster kid.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Did you ever find them?” Depending on what mood Billy is in, he might not get his hands taken off for asking.

“My birth family?” Perhaps Bill had enough shots if he doesn’t even get that stormy face he got when talking about his family. “No, I didn’t find them.”

“Do you want to?” Billy looks down at the bottle in his lap, throws it back without responding.

“They didn’t want me, I’m not wasting my time.” Frank doesn’t know why it hurts so much (the alcohol makes him stupid).

“They’re stupid, I want you.”  The other man looks down at him.

“You’re drunk.”

“Still mean it.”  The predictable roll of Billy’s eyes still happens but there is a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth and Frank smiles back. “Your birth family doesn’t know what they’re missing out on.”

 

The next morning, hung over and all, Frank’s unit is sent away on a long mission.

It’s good because he’s running on this one with Curtis (who’s more loyal than any man Frank’s ever met).  Frank, for days, while they march next to each other, wants to show Curtis his powers. He wants to be honest about what he can do but then they’re being shot at, almost blown up and Frank’s sure Curtis’s life is plenty dangerous without an added secret like ‘hello, I’m Superman’

He hugs him hard anyway when they make it safely back to base, hopes for the next time.

 

Billy’s there when they get back, more rugged than when they left. Frank watches as one man claps him on the shoulder.

“Aye Castle, Russo’s not so pretty anymore is he?” Billy’s wearing his sharp smile and Frank frowns. He knows a test when he sees one.

“Russo’s too damn dangerous to be pretty.” Billy’s grin is worth it, even with the boos from the other men, it’s worth it.

“I’m requesting leave for next month.” He tells Billy and Billy shakes his head, answering his unasked question.

“I get a longer one in a few months, you enjoy yourself, Castle. Practice your powers, get laid.”  Frank rolls his eyes.

“You better be alive when I get back.”

“No promises,” Billy says but his eyes glint blue, Frank knows he’ll be fine.

 

It’s his first leave in a year and a half since he got his powers.

 

He has fun on leave with Curtis, who drinks him under the table every time and drags him home.

They sleep beside each other in Curtis’s mom’s basement and just like every time Frank comes back to New York, he swears he’s gonna have his own place.

“When you got that money, let me know,” Curtis says and Frank shoves at his laughing figure.

 

Frank doesn’t know what makes him play his guitar in the Park but when he sees her, he knows.

She’s all brown haired and sundresses and she smiles at him, sweet and his mind goes blank.

“I’m Maria,” she says.

“Uh, Frank.” She laughs, he’s so smitten.

“My friends say you’re just my type, if you’re free, call me.”  She’s offering a slip of paper with her number, looks at him with big brown eyes and he’s lost.

“I’m free all week.” It comes out smoother than he planned, she beams at him, all sunshine and cute cheeks.

“Tonight?”

They go to a cute diner where they talk and Maria runs her foot up his thigh, and he’s not at all surprised when she asks him if he wants to get out of there.

Maybe, that’s how he ends up here, pressed against the wall of Billy’s apartment, pressing kisses into Maria’s skin.  Curtis wouldn’t have taken to him bringing Maria to his mom’s and Maria had muttered something about three roommates, so they end up here, Frank is just thankful Billy didn’t change the location of his extra key (he will find out how Billy keeps his apartment during his deployment).  Maria even lets go of him for a second to glance around, whistling appreciatively.

“This yours?” she asks impressed

“A friend’s,” he answers honestly, she chuckles before continuing to go for his belt.

“I’m a military man.” He says as she kisses his neck. “Not looking for anything serious.” Billy’s hard-won smile pops into his brain and she groans in approval.

“That’s good.”

She fucks him like she needs it and he is more than willing. She starts right there, pushing him on the door of the apartment; he is the one that gently pushes her towards the bed, stripping his clothes off as he goes, under her sundress she isn’t wearing a bra. Damn he got lucky. He sits back, lets her sit on his face. She rides him hard; he enjoys it, watching her arch off the bed from the sensations. He’s careful with her (in a way she isn’t with him), his grip on her hips is tight but not too tight. There are worries in his head about possible bruising, hurting her with his super strength and she seems okay with him letting her lead. She pulls at his hair as he continues to lick into her, changing his speed and pace, forcing him into angles good for her.  She’s panting and moaning his name and he hasn’t told her to quiet down yet (they’re in Billy Russo’s apartment, no way in hell the neighbors aren’t used to it)

He pulls a condom from one dresser. When she slides down on him, they both hiss and then laugh together.  She smiles at him, leaning down to kiss him, it’s messy and fun, gentle. When he thrusts, rolling his hips, it’s like a natural coming together and it feels so good. She moans as she comes and he follows soon after.

“Hey,” She says later after she’s picked up her clothing from the floor. “If you’re ever in town again, call me.” It’s a boldness in him that follows her to the door.

“Here’s my email, if you want to talk or if you need help, just send me a message.” She blushes, smiles (it seems like half of her boldness was a front)

“Anyone ever tell you that sweetness of yours will break hearts?” He does not think of Billy when he kisses her.

“Only focused on yours right now.”

 

“That’s corny,” Curtis says later, Frank shoves him out his bed.

“She liked it!”

“She got laid, you could tell her she looked like a duck and she would have stayed.” Frank doesn’t mean to laugh.

“I’m not that good.” Curtis just looks up at him.

“Look, even I’m not blind.” Frank snorts.

“I don’t know when I’ll be in town again, she might be with someone else by then.”

“I wouldn’t count on it.  You better have cleaned Russo sheets, wouldn’t want it to get back to him.”

“No, Curtis, Traitor!”

 

She emails him when she goes back, just talking about her program and her roommates, thanks him for the good time.  He almost doesn’t know what to say back.

Almost.

“You think she could be the one?” Curtis asks him, months later and Frank doesn’t respond quick enough, can feel Billy’s eyes on his back.

“You talking about the girl he’s been emailing.” Billy just sounds curious, Frank’s immediately suspicious.

“Yeah, they hit it off after that one night, looks like she keeps coming back for more,” Curtis says with a laugh.

“I hope you used protection, Frankie.” There is something sharp in Billy’s voice that has Frank turning around and Curtis rushing to the med tent. Traitor.

“I did.” He says and were it not for the spark of blue in Billy’s eyes Frank would have never known how he felt.

“Can’t be too careful, don’t want little Franks running around before we know if it’s even safe.”  Frank hates when Billy does this, circles around how he feels, tries to get Frank on edge, make Frank the villain.

“You think I’ll pass down my powers to my kids.”  He’s thought about it, it scares him, he’ll deal with it when he gets there.

“We have to be careful, it might be dangerous for her and you.”  He would have almost believed Billy was sincere, but even this is too hypocritical of Billy for this to be the hill he dies on.

“You would know all about that don’t you Bill, about being safe?” Like Billy doesn‘t fuck people like he’s trying to win a challenge.

“I’m safe, I’m not chasing after some fantasy with some bimbo, 2.5 kids, and a dog.” He laughs bitterly. “You think she’ll be the Lois Lane to your fucked up Superman?” Frank gets angry on Maria’s behalf for a quick second but it clicks. Billy Russo is an asshole when he’s not winning, that’s all this is, him acting out.

“No, but you do.”  Billy’s powers give him away every time because, besides a slight widening of his eyes, that false sincere expression is still on his face, but Frank spots sparks on his fingers. “You think you‘re about to get left behind, think I’m going to settle down, leave you all alone?” Frank feels for the first time in a long time with Billy like he has the upper hand. “You’re jealous.”  

“Of what? Of you, of her?”  It’s too mean, too hard for Frank to be anything other than correct and Frank just leans back in his chair as he lets Billy talk.  “I’m just trying to protect you, Frankie. You think she’s going to just accept you when she figures out what you can do, she’ll abandon you; you’re soft, it’ll break you.”  Billy gets more unsettled as Frank watches him. “It always happens.” _‘Who’s hurt you, Billy?’_ Frank shifts forward and Billy glares at him. “I can hear you.”

Frank knows if he kissed him right now, Billy would hate him, probably because Frank would be sweet with him and he can’t stand that. But Frank just can’t help it, he leans forward, presses a feather-light kiss to Billy’s forehead and Billy clenches his jaw. He pointedly thinks,

 _’I don‘t pity you.’_ and he says out loud “I won’t abandon you.” He means it and from the glare that Billy sends him, he knows it. Maybe, one day Billy will tell Frank all the assholes that fucked him up as a kid but until he does, all Frank can do is just remind him.  “I got your back, you got mine, always.”

 

They get sent on months-long missions away from each other, Frank tries not to read too much into it.

 

The next time he’s on leave, more than six months since the last time he’s seen her, and Maria is above him, smiling down at him, he thinks about telling her the truth, of proving Billy wrong but he doesn’t. Hopes for the next time.

 

He runs missions with Curtis, it’s the best feeling in the world because Curtis gets him, and doesn’t come with the extra feelings.  He gives the best advice (he’s one of his best friends and Frank would be lost without him)

Then Frank hesitates shooting a suicide bomber because she is a pregnant lady and Curtis almost dies.  He watches it happen in slow motion, the bomb goes off and then he rushes to grab Curtis and pull him to safety (he, on second thought, was probably using his super speed).

“I’m so sorry.” He says and Curtis looks at him with red lips (it's blood, it’s so much blood.)

“It’s okay.” He says with a wet cough. It’s not okay, it’s not okay at all. Frank doesn’t leave his side until he’s loaded up and being airlifted to a nearby field hospital.

He never forgives himself for being the reason that Curtis loses his leg.

He continues his missions, but he misses him marching beside him.

 

The next time, he and Billy get a long leave together it’s been almost three years with their powers and they might just have a handle on it.  They drive into the woods of upstate. Frank finally gets to fly, in a way he hasn’t in three years. Billy watches with a careful eye, listening out for any signs someone sees him but there aren’t any scares.

Frank throws his arms out and feels the air underneath him and he has never felt free like this.  He’s always been a solid guy, in but like this, in the air, he feels light.

When Billy throws lightning at him and he has to dodge, he feels excited and the grin on Billy’s face as he sends curls of electricity soaring towards him lights up his entire face.

“Give me a challenge,”  Frank yells down at him.  Billy’s eyes glow and the real fun begins.  Dodging trees and lighting is difficult but Frank lives for it. Billy rolls large balls of electricity in his hands and laughs and flings them out in arcs forcing Frank to think ahead to dodge them.

There is being bored in the middle of stiff airless desert and then there’s feeling the energy in the surrounding forest,  feeling the droplets of water on his skin, feeling the heat of a narrowly missed ball of electricity inches from his face, looking down on his best friend as he glows brighter than the stars.  It’s so much different, so much better.

“Come here,”  Billy says, and it’s an order that Frank obeys.  He floats down, keeps levitating so they’re even and when Billy grabs him (his control is so much better, it doesn’t burn) and pulls him closer, his eyes dark and full like they’re supposed to be, Frank knows there are no excuses here, they aren’t drunk (drunk on power, perhaps), they’re not in the middle of a desert fighting for their lives.  It’s just them, Billy pressed up against the bark of a tree, leaning in, Frank finds he doesn‘t want the excuses, he just wants to kiss him so he does, he kisses him, it fits, it’s natural. It doesn’t shock his senses, it’s raining, and he’s kissing one of the most beautiful people he’s ever known like it’s the most natural thing he’s ever done.

When they stumble back into the car, Billy cracking jokes because Frank can’t quite remember how to keep his feet on solid ground, it’s hard, remembering to focus on being on the ground when Billy keeps nibbling at his ear, kissing his jaw, and he tells him so.  Billy just laughs at him. Pulling off their wet clothes in the back of the old pickup (the only thing Frank keeps of his dad’s), laughing every time there is a slap of a wet piece of clothing hitting the seat.

“Come on, hurry up,”  It’s hard to remove his jeans as the water has made them practically stuck to his skin, he laughs seeing Billy struggle in the same way.  They’re gonna fuck, Frank thinks of the massive list of cons he has that explain why fucking Billy Russo (his best friend, his partner in this, his Marines brother) is the worst idea, but then Billy is looking at him with those large, dark eyes and touching him and his list leaves him.  “C’mon,” Billy says pulling him closer in this backseat (there is something about the space old cars have) they’re both wet and cold but that does nothing to damp their erections, Billy gasps out when Frank buries his face in the crook of his neck, mouthing at the skin there.

Frank thinks _‘you’re so beautiful_ ’ at Billy, thinks of all the things he wants to do to him and laughs as Billy’s neck turns red underneath him.

“We don’t have all day,”  Billy says, and he’s pressing lube and a condom into Frank’s hand and Frank laughs.

“Knew you would get lucky?”

“You‘re easy,”  Billy says, but he’s smiling and Frank bites into his neck to hear him gasp and wipe it away.  

“Are you sure about this?” Frank asks hesitating for a second and Billy’s face goes hard (he can’t stand softness from Frank) before he takes a deep breath.

“Yeah, now come on before I find someone else to do the job.”  There is no one else out here but Frank and Billy knows it but he grunts when Frank’s finger enter him, sighs because he’s getting what he wants. “Don’t go easy on me.” He says and Frank pushes harder, thrusts a little faster, opens and twists his fingers, finally gets Billy to shut up.

He fucks into Billy with short, sharp thrusts, takes advantage of how close the car forces them to be, there is no room for anything but them and Billy gasps beneath him. Billy’s lips are red and his hair is a mess(there is something about Billy that makes Frank want to not hold back, not with his powers or anything, he wants to give Billy everything he has, knows Billy would destroy him in a heartbeat)

When they shift positions and Billy is sitting in his lap, when Frank grips Billy’s hips he knows he’s going to leave bruises and when Billy kisses him, he gets a shock for his troubles and he laughs into his mouth.

“Control yourself, Russo.” He says and Billy bites into his lip and he rolls his hips hard just to hear the grunt from Billy.

He was worried that if they did this, it was going to ruin everything but when he cums he doesn’t say anything stupid like “I love you.”, he might think it, might see Billy look at him like he doesn’t quite understand him but then Frank is reaching for him and he’s moaning and coming in his hand, Frank is reminded of high school and being with girls in the back of his dad’s pickup but Billy is more beautiful than all of them.

“I heard that,” Billy says, smacking him on the shoulder. “Don’t ruin my afterglow.” Frank hides his smile on the crux of Billy’s shoulder, thinks of more compliments and hears Billy groan.

When he drops Billy as his apartment, he knows if he went inside they would fuck again. So he doesn’t because he knows that if they fucked again, he would probably be partial to being gentle and Billy would never forgive him.

Maybe Billy reads that in his eyes because he doesn’t ask, he just goes upstairs, Frank leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uploading three on friday!


	3. i may lose control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before and During and After Kandahar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this really evolved but here we are

_Years Six, Seven and Eight with Powers_

 

Frank tends to think of his military career and now his life in two sections, Before Kandahar and After Kandahar.

 

Before Kandahar, Billy and Frank are good soldiers, some of the best, but they’re both getting out, their contracts expire in a few months. Billy’s talking about getting his MBA or some shit, already thinking of an after. Frank thinks about being able to fly and not being worried about being caught, he thinks about a cape (he thinks about being a hero, he’s just doesn’t realize it yet).

Then their contracts get extended, it happens, Frank didn’t think it would happen to him.

“Sir!”

“It’s out of my hands’ Castle.” Schoonover sits behind the makeshift desk and Frank bites the inside of his cheek.  “Look, you do well with this and there won’t be anything you can’t do when you get out, I’ll make sure of it.”

Frank respects the hell out the man. Schoonover taught him how to shoot, recommended him for Recon training, but these new missions aren’t just Marines, it has C.I. A written all over it.

“They asked me what lieutenants I would recommend, you and Russo are the best,” Schoonover says. “I trust you two.”

It’s the CIA part freaks Billy out.

“Sure, we can outsmart some grunts in the Marines but the C.I.A?” Frank knows its Billy’s fear talking, he would never be caught saying that about other soldiers if he wasn’t scared out of his mind. “You don’t think they won’t notice if you levitate? If the lights flicker? if you run a little too fast to save someone? You don’t think they’ll catch us?” The lights in the tent flicker hard, like they’re about to go out.  Billy takes a deep breath; the lights return to normal. “These people entire jobs are looking for people like us,”

“Schoonover wouldn’t,”

“Wouldn’t what? Sell us to the highest bidder the moment he realizes we have powers?”  Years later, Frank will think about this conversation and realize Billy always knew more than he let on. “I refuse to get caught, Frank.”

Just like last time, it’s Frank that tells him the truth.

“We can’t run, Billy.  We deal with this, the same way we’ve dealt with the last four years and if you get caught, I’m not leaving you behind.”  Billy looks at him with that expression again, like he doesn’t understand how Frank cares about Billy more than his own safety and Frank just thinks at him, what he always does. _‘I got your back, I hope you have mine.’_

They have some leeway since they’re the Lieutenants for the operation, Code name: Cerberus.  It shouldn’t be anything new, ever since they both made Lieutenant, they’ve run units for covert missions, handing off one to each other.  They’re good like that, they know each other. But from the very beginning, there is something off with Cerberus. It’s led by Schoonover and a civilian, Agent Orange, an asshole of the highest order. It’s a covert operation, off the books in a way that Frank’s never seen before and the shit they have him doing, well there is blood on his hands that will never come off.

“Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die.”  Billy says (he’s accepted their fate, is dealing with it in his own way)

Besides being an accurate poem, it’s a fucking omen of what’s coming.

But he’s a good soldier, he follows orders down to the letter.

He sits with the boys and cracks joke and then he shoots people in the head and tries not to think about it.

 

Before Kandahar, he video calls Maria and watches her sleepy face as she talks to him about her day.  In the four years that he’s known her, they know more about each other, personal lives, more than they’ve gotten to know each other intimately. She asks when he’s coming back to her (not so direct of course) and he can never tell her, but she smiles softly when he puts his hand against the screen like it’s her cheek under his hand.

She’s going to be graduating her program soon, he listens diligently to her as she talks about her thesis (she might be one of his closest friends, he’s so proud of her), she asks him about his mission and then takes it back when she sees how dark his face gets.

“Be safe okay?” She says and presses her hand to the screen and he presses his hand back and they are thousands of miles apart, but she still shines so brightly. He thinks he might love her sometime (but he also knows that as long as he is in this desert, as long as he is across the world, he will never be able to be what she needs, and she does not force him to be)

She sends him gifts sometimes, sends packages for his soldiers, she even sends books for Billy who glares at the packages like they’re bribes (they probably are) but she knows Frank who talks about Billy and Billy knows Maria because Frank talks about her. They tolerate it, sometimes even when Frank is video calling Maria, Billy will come to talk to him and she’s always very polite to him.

“Hello, Billy.” She’ll say (with that smile of hers) And Billy will make a big show of smiling back (it’s always his flirting smile)

“Maria,” Then Frank will kick him out before he can embarrass him because Billy is weird with her. He’s always weird with girls but he’s weird with Maria in a differently. He’s seen Billy take someone’s girl because he felt like it, knows Billy has fucked anyone he can that will help his career, Frank’s not really sure where he falls in Billy’s list and it’s not that he doesn’t trust him not to fuck it up with Maria, it’s that he doesn’t trust himself.

 

Before Kandahar, he calls Curtis.

“What do you want, man?” And even from home Curtis is still a comforting voice over the phone.

“I don’t know,” Frank says, and he knows that Curtis can hear how honest his answer is even from across the world.

“They keep pushing your date back?” Curtis would probably be right beside them if he was still here, but he’s out, getting a degree in social work (Frank is so proud of him)

“Yep.”  He asked for a clarification on his extension, Schoonover couldn’t answer him, and the Orange asshole wouldn’t even dignify him with an answer.

“That should be illegal.” He made a promise when he signed up this is just dealing with it, Curtis knows.

“Just doing my duty.” They’ve had this conversation before.

“You need to start thinking about what comes next, man.” Frank looks up at Billy who sits in his bed reading.

“I know, I know.”

 

It’s not that he’s avoiding the future, it’s that these missions are increasingly dangerous (the Orange prick doesn’t give a fuck about them).  Frank doesn’t see the purpose of planning for something he’ll never get, because he’ll probably end up dead on one of these missions, but rather him than some of the guys. He’s stressed as fuck, but remains calm for his men, because they look to him, believe in him, have heard good things about him. Then he’s alone with Billy after Schoonover gives him another mission that will probably kill him and he’s vibrating so hard, he practically starts to fly.

Billy groans and grabs him by his shirt dragging him back to earth.

“Get yourself together Castle!” He says, he looks around and seems to come to a conclusion.  He pushes Frank behind the crates in the room, sinking to his knees (it’s quick and fluid and clean like everything he does)

“Whoa,” Frank tries to say as Billy goes for his belt and Billy looks at him with those eyes, dark, clear, determined.

“You need to focus man, you see things I don’t.” Frank knows he’s right, just like he knows as his brain keeps going over the plan, they might die this time. “Focus, Castle.” Billy is saying, before he’s swallowing Frank down and Frank’s hand instinctively goes for Billy’s hair, causing Billy to moan. Sex doesn’t solve his problems, but it is easier to focus on staying on the ground when Billy is swallowing around his dick. Moving his hands to have Billy take him deeper is rewarding, as are Billy’s hands on his thighs, pressing him back into the crates.  He fucks into Billy’s mouth with shallow thrusts, watches the man’s eyes flutter closed, lets his own head fall against the crates behind him.

“Might want to hurry up, Lieutenant,” Frank says, and his voice comes out a lot less breathless than he feels right now. Billy narrows his eyes at him and does that little trick with his throat again and Frank groans as he cums, gripping Billy’s hair to pull him closer. Billy’s nails dig into his thighs but he’s quiet as he leans back from him.  His lips are red, his hair not quite as flat. Frank watches him adjust himself in his pants, thinks about hauling him up and kissing him, stops himself as Billy rises and begins making himself presentable.

“You have something,” Frank says, reaching forward, rubbing his thumb across Billy’s bottom lip. Billy watches him, and Frank wants to kiss him, thinks of leaning forward, tasting himself on his lips. “We should go,” He says instead. “The men,” And Billy nods.

They survive that mission, kill the target.  This is of course before Kandahar.

 

Before Kandahar, he goes to Maria’s graduation, watches her walk across the stage and receive her masters.

He’s known her for years now (that moment in the Park feels lifetimes away, it’s only been five years), knows her through her emails and calls, she’s become a really good friend to him.

That’s the problem.

He stands at her graduation fidgeting in a suit he borrowed from one of his boys, it doesn’t fit quite right, he almost wishes he wore his dress uniform. He holds the bouquet tightly and the flowers start to wilt in his hand during the Ceremony. When her name is called, he cheers.

“That’s my girl!” He says. He’s so proud of her. A huge group cheers with him, her family. He’s nervous as fuck.

Three men propose after the ceremony, Frank grips his flowers tighter.

It doesn’t help that after greeting her family, Maria jumps at him and he spins her around like a soldier greeting his wife after being away, it doesn’t help that she kisses his cheek, and holds his hand and introduces him to her family as “a close friend,” Doesn’t help that he walks through her childhood home, where there is family everywhere, kids are all over the place and he can feel them looking at him, judging him. He knows he’s walking stiffly, knows that some of the conversations he has with her family are stilted.  She watches him with a soft amused expression on her face.

“Relax,” She tells him.  They’re outside, the first time he’s managed to get her alone and away from her family. There are soft lights on her face, she looks like an angel. “You’ve been tense all night.” She looks at him with those sunshine eyes and he bites his lip. If he was the man that he thought he was, he would be on one knee right now, but he’s not.

There is a stereotype that military men settle down in the first few months of knowing a girl.  Frank knows he could have been that stereotype, looks at Maria and knows that there is a life where he did settle down with her and has the two kids and a dog. Knows that if he asks, he might still be able to get it (but then he thinks of the blood on his hands, thinks of explosions and bullets, and thinks of passing down powers he barely knows to his kids)

“Frank?” She starts, he breathes out.

“Did you ever want to get married?” He asks, and she looks at him amused, a little curious.

“To you or in general?” He doesn’t know if he could handle the answer to her first question, kinda winches thinking about it, and she gently shakes her head at him.

“General.” He finally says.  She gives him a soft smile, her eyes distant.

“When I was nine, I planned my entire wedding, the big dress, the beach ceremony, I had it all thought out.”

“The groom?” She laughs.

“There wasn’t one, I just wanted the ceremony, the dress, the gifts and as I got older, it didn’t fit anymore.  I didn’t try to force it” He hates that her eyes look so knowing, hates that she reads him so well. “You know as long as you’re there, I would never say yes.”

“And if I came home?” He asks and braces himself. He doesn’t deserve an answer, he’d like one.

“I might not be here when you do.”  He’s such an asshole, here he is on her night, thinking about himself.  She put herself through her master program, of course, she wouldn’t stay here, waiting, she would go wherever the opportunities are (she’s not gonna wait for him to figure out his shit, she doesn’t have to)

“Maria,”  He starts, he wants to say he’s sorry, wants to wish he had been serious when he met her in that park all that time ago, wishes he could give her the beach ceremony and big dress, but she pulls him down by his shirt, startling him and kisses him before he can get the words out.  It’s a gentle kiss (it feels like goodbye).

“Frankie, we’re still friends, don’t ruin it.” She says when she pulls her lips from his. He thinks that if he had done this right, this would be a breakup scene, it still kinda hurts, still kinda feels like a breakup but she’s smiling at him and he smiles at her.

“You’re right.”

“Now come on,” She says. “Before my family thinks you killed me.”  

This is before Kandahar.

 

After Kandahar, he has literal blood on his hands and he’s absolutely furious.

 

Before Kandahar, Schoonover walks into the tent calls Billy and him with him. He and the Orange Prick introduce a plan and Frank rips it apart in his head.  They’re gonna get them killed, the other missions had been dangerous but this shit, it was going get them killed.

“It’s a trap.” He says, he lays out each reason why and since he has the floor, he tells them everything he fucking hates about Operation Cerberus, he doesn’t need to be able to read Billy’s mind to know the man is yelling at him internally.  He can see Schoonover waver, can see that the man doesn’t want to get them killed.

“I trust Frank’s instincts, sir.”  The orange asshole doesn’t care, plows right over them, and Schoonover with him, sending him into a death trap.

Frank stands there and takes it and does what he’s told because he’s a good soldier and one day (he doesn’t know it yet) he’ll have to deal with that.

“Look you’ll be our air support,” Billy says quietly before he grabs his team.

“Bill,” Frank’s not even sure what to say.

“I’m not dying out there Frank, neither are you.”

 

During Kandahar, Schoonover loses his hand and Frank hates that he’s right.

“I’m going,” Frank says as there are explosions around him, bullets flying.  He’s going to clear a path for evac, he’s going to use his powers and destroy them (and it will be the first time he really thinks about saving people with his powers, but these are his people, his men and he won’t let them die here)

“I’m coming with you.”  Billy is clenching his jaw, but Frank is not blind, he can see that Billy is barely keeping his powers in check and he knows that if he follows him up over that ridge, there is no telling what he can.

“No, stay here, keep them safe.”

“Don’t be stupid, Frank!” There are things that Billy Russo will never say to him (and he has accepted that) but when Billy looks at him with his eyes wide, Frank doesn’t need to read his mind, doesn’t even need to hear him say it to know what he’s thinking.

“Cover me, I’m going to get him home.” (If this was that type of story Billy probably would have pulled him in and kissed him but as it is, they’re soldiers, and they have jobs to do) ‘ _Stay alive for me._ ’

Frank clears a path on his own, he’s terrified (later he will touch the holes in his uniform from where bullets definitely went through and realize none of the blood on him is his) He doesn’t really think, sure he plots out his moves, but he grunts and yells and gets blood on his face. He doesn’t count, when he runs out of bullets, he uses his knife, uses his bare hands, crushes their throats.

He leaves a part of his soul in Kandahar, but that’s what he gets for being a good soldier, for following their orders.  One day, he’ll have to answer for it. For now, he gets his men back to base, he saves their lives. He’s furious.

 

After it all goes to shit in Kandahar, the Orange asshole stands before them, asks if they got the target and Frank snaps. He doesn’t hold back when he swings, feels the blood from the man’s eye splatter across his fingers (knows that if he was a millisecond faster, he could have killed the man, wants to).  He's pulled back by his men, by Billy whose hand on him keeps sending sparks through his body.

“Why are you protecting that piece of shit?” Frank asks Billy, Billy who has lines of electricity running across his arms and Frank wants to hurt, wants to destroy and there is Billy standing in his way. He knows that if he attacked, Billy would stop him, and he wouldn’t hold back, Frank almost wants him to.

“I’m protecting you! Guys like that, it’s never on them.”  Frank knows that, hates it, hates that there will be three funerals from men in his team he has to go to, hates that Schoonover is out, without a hand, hates this shit with his entire being and Billy stares at him, his dark eyes a little wild, there is blood on his face and Frank would hate to look in a mirror right now, doesn’t know what might stare back.

(Superman never goes to war, is never a soldier, never has to follow orders, he saves lives, doesn’t end them, but Frank is no Superman and he won’t ever be)

“This is all bullshit, Frank.  I’m getting out, I can’t do it anymore.  Come with me.” Billy Russo holds out a hand (there are lifetimes where Frank does not take it, lifetimes where they end up as enemies), in this lifetime, he takes it, and it doesn’t shock him, it’s not a trick. He gets out.

If he breaks down later, alone in the showers, it's a little easier to bear because he's found his after, he's just had to make it there.

 

After Kandahar, Frank buys a house, a little one, near where he grew up.  It’s got a cute little yard (he can imagine a dog running around, licking his face)

He invites Curtis, Maria, and Billy over once he has it the way he wants it. He sets a photo of his parents in the front room, has one of him and Billy, has another with Maria, puts the one with him and Curtis on the wall.

“It’s comfy,” Maria says, smiling at him, tips her beer to him (she took the job offer here, wears success well).  

“It’s flat,” Curtis says, looking grateful (and this is a city where everything requires some type of stairs) and Frank winks.

“It suits you, man,” Billy says with his hands in his pocket, leaning back on his heels. Frank smiles at him, Billy allows a small smile back, it's a win. 

He cooks for them, grills for them out in the little yard while they laugh and crack jokes at his expense (Maria and Billy together are a menace and Curtis looks at him sympathetically).  

“Shouldn't put your exes together man its bad luck.”

“They're not my exes.” Curtis just shakes his head at him and Frank groans as Maria and Billy start another round of who can embarrass Frank more.

They’re three of the most important people in his life and as the sun sets, he decides to tell them the truth.

 

“I have to show you something.  Maybe it’s his serious expression, but they stop talking and Billy narrows his eyes at him. _'You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.’_ And Billy’s eyes widen but he does not move to stop him (it’s as close as a blessing as he’ll ever get)

“What’s up, man?” Curtis asks, and Frank takes a deep breath, counts to three in his head.

One.

Two.

Fuck it.

Maria gasps when his feet leave the ground, he hears Curtis’s crutches hit the ground.

“Your Superman?”  Maria asks him when his feet hit the ground and he winches.

“We’re working on a name.” He and Billy say at the same time (and Billy Russo doesn’t make mistakes like that), Maria’s eyes narrow at him.

“You already knew, how?”  Frank can see Billy battling himself in his head, the line of his jaw is tight and his nose flares. _'You don't have to do anything.'_

Billy holds a ball of electricity in his hand and beside a tilt of his hand, it’s flawless compared to when he first discovered his powers.

“Y’all been keeping shit from me.” Curtis says while Maria leans forward, reaches her hand out.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you sweetheart.” Billy says closing his hand.

“How?” Curtis asks. He looks suspicious.

“Woke up one day different, not sure where it comes from, and I think it's permanent.” It’s a good summary.

 

“You're superheroes.” Maria says a while later.

“No, we're not.” Billy says, and he looks at Frank to back him up, Frank shrugs.

“We didn't really have the time to be superheroes.” He admits rubbing his hair.

“You were given these powers for a reason, I mean you've seen the shit out there with the Avengers and,” She looks at him, her brown eyes serious. “The world needs you.”  Billy is shaking his head and Frank looks at Curtis for help who shrugs helplessly.

“With great power,” Curtis starts.

“Do not finish that sentence!” Billy said. “Frank you're not seriously thinking about,” but Frank isn't listening, he's rubbing his chin.

“You have the perfect covers, I mean with Frank becoming a cop and you some big shot businessman.” Maria is obviously excited (and taking this well).  Billy is glaring at her. “You're practically walking examples of heroes undercover!”

Frank can see it, can see himself being disillusioned in the system that he serves in, can see a hero solving cases he can’t, helping people when the law fails. Looks at Billy, who has an unreadable expression in his eyes, his hands are still on the neck of his beer.

 _‘I know you’re scared,’_ He thinks and sees Billy glare at him, hearing his own words from a long time ago being quoted back to him.  _'But I got a feeling, okay?'_

“You think I’m going to let you be stupid on your own and get all the glory?” Billy asks out loud and both Maria and Curtis look at him. “If, if we do this, we need good disguises, voice modulators, weapons, a plan.”  He looks at each of them seriously. “We take bad guys down and they do not get back up. The moment it gets dangerous, I’m out.” Maria grins, Curtis shakes his hand.

“Eh, it’s the spirit.” Curtis says.

“You in?” Frank asks Curtis.  He's pretty sure both Billy and Maria will follow him to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining, but Curtis has no obligation to him, not like that. But Curtis looks certain and focused, he's thought about this.  There is something to be said about human beings and their ability to adapt to new information.

“I’m going to have a lot of clients and I won’t be able to help all of them,” And he nods at Frank.  “But you might be able to.”

“You held back with me because of this, didn’t you?” Maria asks quietly standing beside him. He nods, not trusting his own voice, but his eyes flick to Billy and Maria’s smile is sharp. “I see not only that.” She says lightly but then something in her eyes changes, they become a little more serious, more focused. “This city needs you.”

“What if I can’t save them all?”  He asks her.

“Then focus on one person and go from there. It’s baby steps, Frank.”

 

After Kandahar, Frank finally starts his work with the NYPD, when Maria calls him.

“Can you get everyone together at your place tonight?” she asks, and he still can’t say no to her.

“They’re just prototypes but I figured you would want to try them on.”  She says. The three men sit shoulder to shoulder on Frank’s tiny but very comfy couch as Maria reaches into her bag on the counter. She tosses one black package to Frank and one to Billy. “I had a friend that owed me, go for it.” She tosses a tiny package to Curtis, who jumps not expecting it, taps her ear.

It’s not a Superman symbol and for that he is thankful but it’s a large white skull on tight black material and as he stands wearing it, looking in the mirror, he feels unbelievably foolish. Maybe this shit was a bad idea.

“Maybe something bulkier. I knew black would suit you.” Maria says, critiquing the costume as she circles him.

“It’s a good look.” Billy says and Frank blinks hard. Billy’s costume is similar to his, black, tight-fitting, but there is a reflective blue stripe on his biceps and thighs and with the hair and eyes, he looks beautiful. ‘ _You look good._ ’ Billy smiles, he knows.

“Here.”  Maria says.

“That’s it.” Curtis says from where he’s seated on the couch. “Just needed a cape.” Frank turns, sees the way it shifts behind him.  The whole caped crusader bullshit might just work.

As Maria applies his domino mask with careful hands (after simply tossing Billy a literal helmet “you’re too good-looking Russo, you’ll blow your cover in a second”) Frank can finally see it, this hero figure, she thinks he could be.

“One person Frank.”  She says as his police radio comes to life asking for backup with a growing fire.

“You coming?” He asks Billy who tilts his head (and Frank is going to hate that mask if he can’t see Billy’s face.)

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

 

They save everyone from the fire. A woman gives Frank her baby to kiss, a little girl tugs on Billy’s arm wanting to touch his stripes. She squeals when a tiny spark makes the way across her fingers.  Later, Frank holds Billy in the air, his cape billowing behind him and lifts the other’s man’s mask up.

 _'I knew you could do it.'_   He thinks, and Billy rolls his eyes and pulls him close, the kiss that follows, it’s just natural, it fits, it's like a win all on its own.  This superhero shit might just work out.

 

(It’s New York City and bad shit happens all the time, and Billy isn’t cut out for this saving people thing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue left (Billy maybe?)  
> I'm not completely happy with this but I think it works.


	4. evil will never prevail, suckers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't stop me now  
> I said, "I got you now"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Billy epilogue he's a work in progress

Alright, let’s do this one last time.

 

Billy Russo is no hero, it doesn’t matter how many crying babies he saves, how many smiles he gets, it doesn’t matter.  Men like him, they’re not heroes, they’re survivors.

 

“I’ll be able to give a job to veterans that need it, in jobs they know.”

He is outlining his business plan to Frank in Afghanistan, Frank who always watches him like he is trying to solve him, even as Billy paces in front of him, giving him an answer.

“You’re talking about a private military force, Bill.”

“I’m talking about personal security and becoming the best at it.”  Frank just looks at him (probably listing cons to everything Billy says in his head) and Billy hates it.  “You could work for me.” And Frank snorts. “I’m serious, you could train them, together, we could be unstoppable!”

“No, thank you.” He says rolling over and Billy stops moving. ‘ _You really want to keep fighting once you’re out of here?_ ’  Billy hates this mind shit, hates that Frank’s words roll into his head, all warm and dripping of affection like he doesn’t know how to hide it.

“No, I don’t, but some of those men, they do. I’ll give them an outlet.”  (It’s a fairly noble idea, in the beginning at least)

 

“I still don’t get why his updates involve a leather jacket, and I still look like a lightning twink.”

“Because,” They muffle the next words like someone put their hand on her mouth and he hears snickers.

 _‘On your left,’_ His knives attack before Frank’s little warning and no one says anything as bones crack beneath his hand. (He loves that he doesn’t even need to use his powers for what they do, that he’s plenty deadly without electricity coursing through his veins)

“That’s because you are a twink.” Frank’s voice says. ‘ _Behind you and your right._ ’ He presses his hand into the ground, watching the blue energy leave his hands, hears the yells as electricity enters the men. “Element of surprise?” Frank asks, he sounds amused, Billy smirks (he hates that Frank does that to him)  

“Speeding things up.” He says with a roll of his arms. Frank doesn’t even warn him and glass shatters behind him as Frank lodges a bullet into the skull of the man behind him. “Cutting it close.”  Billy says and the other man grumbles in his ear.

“Stop showing off.”  Frank says but less than a minute later, Billy moves right out the way as the man lands, his cape whirling behind him. It’s probably impressive to anyone who doesn’t know what a dumbass Frank is.  He looks up at the hole in the ceiling than looks at Frank.

“Element of surprise?”  The other man turns to look at him and he doesn’t need to see Frank’s eyes to know the other man is rolling his eyes at him.

“When is the next shipment?”  Billy despises the voice modulator that Frank has, his already low voice becomes deeper and mechanical, the man Frank is holding in his grasp, struggles but Frank just clenches tighter.  (They call him the Punisher eventually because Frank doesn’t hold back which makes him good at what he does, ruthless)

“Tomorrow at the docks.” The man gasps out and Frank drops him (Billy wonders if Frank will let him go, wouldn’t be the first time he’s done that to send a message).

 

Besides Frank, Billy’s never really had friends before (he knows how pathetic that sounds but it’s true) he’s had people he’s used, people who helped him out because he was pretty, but he’s never had people, not like Frank.

Frank who walked into a room and patted men on the back, smiled and laughed with them.   Billy was charming, he put people at ease because he knows what they want to hear. People want to be Frank’s friend because of who he is, people want to be near Billy because of what they think he is. He’s accepted that.

 

Curtis hits play on the Football game, leans into Billy’s space and makes himself comfortable.  He does it easily and Billy wonders how he got here. Curtis handed him his favorite beer (a fancy Belgium he grabbed once just to be contrary and liked) and then goes about watching the game.

“Frank needs a bigger couch.” He grumbles, and Billy doesn’t suggest his own apartment, for the same reason Curtis doesn’t suggest his (it’s bigger than Frank’s place but Frank’s house feels like him and each of the team has a key)

When Frank comes in, sees Billy and Curtis side by side, cursing out the bad plays by their team, Billy sees him smile. Big, bad Punisher, sure.

 

“You need a new mask.”  Maria says in his ear. His suit is dripping wet (he fished out several women from the harbor, and that he remembered to snag out his earpiece and his helmet before jumping in after the women was good thinking on his part.  “That was dangerous.” It was an uncalculated risk on his part.

“I couldn’t have let them drown.”  And he finds that he’s telling the truth. It was a dangerous risk, and he took it without thinking (that terrifies him more than beating a bunch of human traffickers ever will)

‘I know.”  Maria says and they’re both silent as he pulls his helmet back on, the women are breathing and Billy knows the bare essentials to save a drowning victim but he knows if any of the women had seen his face it would have been tragic. “I’ll figure it out, patching you back into Frank now.”

Later, she hands his a plain white tight-fitting mask,  reminds him of a mime. It leaves his hair out, a liability but he finds he likes it.

“You will have to decorate it yourself.”  She says when he looks up at her. He doesn’t know what to put on the mask, he leaves it blank.

 

Succeeding in the military is based on either on how you rich you are or who you know.

Being broke, Billy’s choice was to find someone.  Frank found Schoonover who looked at young, angry Frank and decided this would be his legacy.  Frank looks at Billy and just looks. It pisses him off.

Frank’s not much older than him, he doesn’t offer much help, but he’s a solid figure in Billy’s training, with his quiet but certain voice, steady hands. Billy pushes him, tries to get him to prove that he’s just like every other man that used Billy when he was younger, and Frank never takes the bait, Frank gets closer to him.

“You’re a good soldier,” Frank tells him, he’s paying for beer for them since Billy passed his training. Billy looks at him over the top of his drink, Frank smiles at him. Frank’s always been Billy’s type (when Billy allows himself to acknowledge his attraction to the man) and Frank’s hands-on (with literally everyone), it does nothing to help Billy get over his attraction to the man.

“But you can be better?” Billy asks, knows his voice is a little too mean, thinks of all his instructors that looked at his skinny form and assumed that he couldn’t pull his weight and the way Frank looks at him like he’s silently laughing at him makes him defensive.

“I wasn’t going to say that at all.”  Billy doesn’t quite wipe the surprise off his face fast enough and Frank takes a long pull on his drink, doesn’t look away.

 

“Are you sure you’re a safe enough distance away?” Billy asks her.  He’s sure electrocuting Frank’s ex-girlfriend will not do him any favors with the man.

“I’m fine! Do it.” Billy’s not sure how Maria hid that she’s nuts from Frank (probably didn’t). She’s taken over learning what they can do from Billy who didn’t do it with enough scientific focus to please her. She’s smart in a way he’s never really seen, creative (putting her electrical engineering degrees to good use) She suggests for him to see if he can use his powers in ways he hadn’t even thought of.

It’s why he’s here, stretching his hands up.  He originally hated his powers (still does, they’re an added danger to his life, they make him have less control, it’s not good in his line of business). He rolls his head, hears his neck crack.

“Come on!” Maria says, and he breathes out and focuses.  Frank’s powers are always on, he has to focus on staying on the ground, Billy is the same way but when he let’s go, it’s destructive (it’s terrifying the amount of damage he could cause if he wanted to).  He holds two balls of energy in his hands and brings his hands above his head, counts to three and brings the two spheres together. He knows it’s some fancy word for it but for simplicity’s sake, they explode, and he’s thrown back by the force.

It fucking hurts.

“Are you okay?!” Billy opens his eyes to see Maria reaching for him and he flinches back from hand. She stops moving immediately.  He’s a little surprised to see the fear in her eyes (she’s not afraid of him, she’s afraid for him, he’s not sure what to do with that information).  “Are you okay?” She asks again, and he’s nodding, even though his mouth feels like cotton and there is a ringing in his ears. He holds out his hand and she smiles and helps him up, her grip strong.  “Do you know what went wrong, we won’t do that again.” It’s we that gets him and the worry in her eyes.

“No, no, let’s try again, I think I can do it this time.”  He’s sure he knows what went wrong, can match his movements to create what she wants.

“It’s too dangerous!”  He smirks at her (pulls himself together because with the hair and worried eyes she looks like one of his foster sisters that made sure he ate every night before she left him like everyone one did)

“Wouldn’t be fun if it wasn’t.”

 

 _‘You don’t have to go._ ’ Billy will figure out a way to keep him out of his head, especially when he looks like this.  Frank looks at him with soft sleepy eyes, the blanket sits low on his hips, he has a hand outstretched, a soft smile on his face.  Billy freezes pulling on his pants.

“I thought you were sleeping.”  It’s a stumble for him but he smiles tightly.  “I have a board meeting in the morning, I can’t stay.”  And he’s truly gone soft if he can’t just say no to Frank, if he has to make excuses. Frank only hums in response, shifting and the cover drops more.

“You did good tonight.”  He mummers and Billy find he smiles.

“You too, man.”

 

The night he gets his powers he doesn’t even realize, he's drunk, kissing Frank like it’s his last chance (and it is for a while), and Frank isn’t pushing him away, he’s pulling him in closer, dragging him down into his bed.  

Later, when he’s lying in his bed, Frank a warm weight on his back he’s just trying to figure out how the fuck that happened.  

When he’s by himself and reaching for his microwave, his touch blows the fuse in the microwave, then the rest of his apartment.  Knowing how powerful he is now, it’s a relief it wasn’t worst.

 

“Mr.Russo, you have a call from Ms. Romano on line 3.”  His secretary’s voice is cool (and when he was younger, he only dreamed about this).

“Put her though.”

“Mr. Russo, sir,”  And Maria’s voice is so mocking it makes his teeth grit.  “You busy?”

“Maybe,”  he says running through his schedule in his head.  “Why?”

“You have maybe 15 minutes to meet Frank to stop an electrical backlash on Charmaine and Sixth, I think he needs your help.”  And Billy leans back in his chair and really thinks about it. “Billy,” Maria says and her voice is gentle.

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“You taking the bike?”

“What,” He says, and he stands and walks out his office, mouthing at his secretary to cancel his meetings for today.  “It looks cool.”

 

“Schoonover recommended you for this operation, anyone else you think could do what we do, Frank Castle for instance,”

“No, Frank’s too honorable, the less he knows the better.”

 

Curtis laughs when he sees it, makes a Lois Lane joke right away. 

“You saved a journalist in broad daylight, you didn’t think there would be a picture?”  Billy sounds hysterical even to his own ears because this shit, this is what worried him.

“You’re literally holding her in your arms, with the cape billowing behind you, man.”

“It’s the Superman save! You really did it!”

“I was just supposed to let Karen fall?” And they all go silent.  Frank looks at them with serious eyes. “He pushed her out the window, she would have died.” And they are heroes, or at least trying to be and saving the blonde reporter is what they do even if it risks everything.

“Her story, Union Allied, those guys are bad news,” Curtis says.

“It’s Fisk.”  And Maria’s voice is quiet. (Maria’s sister died a few years ago, they don’t make her talk about it) “We don’t go after Fisk, you promised.”

“She has protection, the red asshole, the lawyers, this isn’t our fight.” They were not the only heroes in New York, they couldn’t save everyone in this city, they carved out this territory, fought for their people, he would not let Frank ruin that.

“Fisk will kill all of them, we can stop him.” Frank really believes in them, believes in this and everyone looks at him with eyes that speak more to what they know.

“Can we? He owns Hell’s Kitchen, that’s not our turf.” He knows Maria and Curtis agree with him, can feel their agreements in his brains (and he isn’t questioning why he can hear them now) “Why does she matter so much, anyway?”

“I could feel her okay? She was scared and angry.”  Frank looks defensive, worried almost at their reactions.

“Feel her?”  And that’s Maria’s science voice, Billy bristles.  “Frank, are you saying you could feel her emotions?” And that makes a startling amount of sense, considering that Billy gets thoughts.  Frank’s been keeping shit from him. There must be something in his face, or worst his emotions that has Frank sending an apologetic expression his way.

‘ _I didn’t know!_ ' He thinks at Billy.  “Maybe, what does that mean?” He asks Maria.

“You can lie with thoughts but emotions, those are hard to fake.”  Billy freezes, this changes things.

 

The first time they meet the red asshole, Frank beats the shit out of him.

“You kill people.” The kid gasps out from where Frank is holding him by his suit and Billy rolls his eyes hard. Just what they needed, another saint.

“They were trafficking children.” Billy and Maria say simultaneously. Frank gives a mysterious cough that’s probably him hiding a laugh.

“He can hear you.”  He says. Maria’s eyebrows rise.

“He like us?”  Billy asks.

“No.”  The kid says.

“Heightened senses,” Maria says.  “Expert hand to hand combat.”

“You’re not alone.”  The kid says (he sounds confused, lonely, Billy doesn’t give a fuck.)

“No, I’m not,”  Frank says. “Take this as a warning kid, stay out of our way.”

 

“If he’s going after Fisk, he’s a bigger idiot than I thought.”  Maria almost sounds excited.

“If we’re going after Fisk, I’m out.”  Maria and Frank both look at him. “They’re all corrupt, every last one, we go after Fisk, we go after this city. I didn’t sign up for that.”  He meant it, messing with Fisk it would be like messing with his own money and he isn’t too stupid to do that.

 _‘You’re scared._ ’ And Billy hates he can’t make this connection go both ways, not when Frank is looking at him like he knows him and imprinting his beliefs in his mind. “I’m not going after Fisk, but these kids,”

“They will get themselves killed.” Maria finishes. “Karen, Nelson and Murdock, they’re playing a dangerous game and if we don’t get involved, people will die.” She tilts her head to him as if offering her mind up.   _‘People may already be dead’_ she says (she screams her thoughts as if he might have trouble hearing, it took him some time to learn to read her but he can hear just fine)

 _‘You’re not out.’_ Frank thinks at him and Billy seethes, he will not have both gang up on him, not on this.

“If we do this, we’re going after corrupt cops and Frank, it’s not just one or two, he owns them.  You ready for that? You ready to go after your brothers?” Frank narrows his eyes at him, it’s too defensive, even for Billy.

 _‘Yes, are you?’_ And he’s never asked Frank if he knows about him, if he knows what Billy has done but when he’s in his head like this, he feels like Frank knows everything about him. (It’s alarming and Billy hates he hasn’t run from this yet.

“We’re not those type of heroes.”  Billy hisses, his intent bleeding through (don’t make us be, please)  But then Frank is looking at him, all honor and justice in his eyes.

“Let’s keep these kids alive,”  He says out loud. ‘ _We could be_.’  Billy glares at him but concedes, if it gets too dangerous he’ll leave, he’s done it before.

When the kids (and they aren’t children, not really, a little too idealistic, and hopeful for Billy’s tastes) take down Fisk, Frank fucks his smugness into Billy’s skin.

‘You still out?’ Billy can only shake his head (this win makes him hopeful, but he doesn’t forget who he is)

 

“We’ll be your first investors but this does not come freely, Lieutenant Russo.”

“I know, sir.”

 

“If you leave me behind again, I’m not bailing your ass out.”  Billy’s breathing is harder than he would like (he’s not out of shape, he trains as hard as any of his men, it’s hard keeping up with literal super-speed)

“You never bail me out.”  Frank tosses him the gun from the body on the ground and Billy feels his eyes roll into the back of his skull.  He hates Frank in this suit, it’s like his normal dumbass behavior turned to ten. He gets all noble and serious where he may have laughed at something before, now it’s brooding silence, like he’s judging him.  It’s the caped crusader bullshit. “Two shooters, one got away.”

“Why you wait for me.” Frank just shoves him, but there is a smile playing at his lips.

“Take care of it.” Electricity leaves his fingers, one man falls.  He feels so goddamn powerful.

 

“Don’t forget everything you have is because of us, if we go down, you go down with us Russo.”

“I said I would take care of it!”

 

Billy Russo keeps a countdown in his head. He has too, he’s never stayed anywhere before eventually it all went to shit and this, this story, it’s a ticking time bomb.

 

“Something about this isn’t right.” It’s the suit, it has to be the reason Billy freezes the way he does seeing the way Frank standing half in the shadow, half out. Billy recovers, but it’s not flawless, not smooth.

Billy’s not even out of his dress uniform from the funeral yet, curses in his head.  He knew Frank would do this, so he lets out a breath, makes sure his face conveys the right thing.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, his death, it doesn’t sit right with me. Suicide? Gunner?”

“You know what they say, you never see it coming.”  And he can feel Frank’s eyes on him as he pulls his jacket off letting it fall to the couch (and if he had his way, he would never wear that stupid uniform again) He starts working on his shirt when he feels Frank’s hands on him, stopping him. He frowns at him but Frank’s eyes are serious (and how did he change so fast into that suit?)

“I’m going to look into it.”  He says and Billy knows, Frank is asking him without saying the words, Frank wants to be this hero and is asking Billy to support him.

“Frank, don’t.” And Frank’s grip on his wrists tightened.

“He has no one but us,”

“Exactly. You will endanger us for what? Let his police handle this unless you don’t trust them.” It’s easy to take shots at the NYPD because Frank flinches, he’s one of them and all Fisk did would prove that there were more corrupt cops than not.

“They’re sweeping it under the rug!”

“Let them! Let this go before you get us all killed!”  And it’s the wrong thing to say he knows it the moment it comes out his mouth.  Frank lets him go, steps back.

 _‘Bill_ ,’ And Billy hates having Frank in his head., hates that his voice, all soft and kind just seeps into Billy’s fucking bones, he hates it.

“Don’t,”  Billy repeats. “I can’t protect you if you do this.”  And he’s telling the truth, he convinced them that Frank was fine, protected him, because he knew Frank would come to him first before he did anything stupid. He hates that he was right.

‘ _Billy, what did you do?_ ’ Frank’s not even speaking words anymore, he doesn’t have too, he looks at him as if he’s finally seeing him, finally getting the answer he’s been looking for and good! Let him finally realize who Billy was (it hurts, it hurts like shit)

“Don’t ask me that,”  Billy finally says. “Just know if you go after them, you go alone, and if you come after me, you won‘t win.”  It’s a bold statement to make, while Frank is in his suit, looking like some dark God dealing out justice but Billy has fucking electricity coursing his veins.  He knows if Frank comes after him, he won’t lose and maybe it’s a threat that Frank needs to know he’s serious, that this is not something he will budge on.

 _‘I don’t want to fight you. Just tell me the truth.’_  Frank looks disappointed, not betrayed, not defensive, he looks disappointed and something sour curls up in Billy’s stomach. ‘ _I got your back, I hope you have mine.’_ Those words,

“Don’t!”  Billy says, and the lightning leaves his hand almost involuntarily and Frank is moving, faster than he’s ever seen.

He grabs Billy and holds him tight even as Billy tries to shock the living shit out of him.

“Enough!”  And there is something wrong about hearing Frank’s voice, about hearing the pain (he caused that, he did that) “We can still fix this!” And it’s always we, with all of them and Billy hates it! ‘ _Just tell me! Please._ ’ And in Frank’s arms like this, tight against the wall, a sharp corner cutting into his skin, he feels helpless, and he despises it. “Help me understand.”

“You thought you could just walk out of Cerberus?  You thought we were safe?” Billy asks and Frank blinks, loosens his grip.

“Orange,”

“If you go after them, I might have to stop you, please don’t make me stop you.” Frank lets him go and turns away. “Frank! Dammit, Frank! Listen to me!”

When his door shuts he feels alone in a way he hasn’t in years.

 

“Sir, you have a call from Ms. Romano on line 3.”

“Tell her I’m busy.” He isn’t, he should be.

“She says it’s urgent, sir.”  He leans back in her chair and really thinks about it, picks up his phone.

“What?” He asks, his voice sharp and there is silence on the line facing him.  He thinks about apologizing for his tone, he doesn’t.

“You haven’t been to Frank’s in two weeks.”  Her voice is soft, almost understanding. “Did you guys have a fight?”

“That’s none of your business.” He says, he hears her sigh.

“It’s not but you’re my friend,” And even across the city he can see her, he feels the questioning thoughts, shoves them back at her as if he can.

“I’m not.”  He says, and he hates how pathetic he sounds, all sharp edges and frowns.

“You’re right, your family.”  He has nothing to say to that, she knows. “There’s a bank robbery on 42nd, you can be there in 12.”

“He doesn’t want me there.”  He says after a pause.

“He’s on the clock you might beat him there.”

 

“Come with me.”  He tells Frank, holds out his hand, even as Frank shakes with anger. He hates what this war has done to him, hates the man that Frank is becoming. ‘ _Come with me_ ’ and he thinks it hard knowing Frank can’t hear him, knowing Frank might not say yes.

But in this lifetime Frank takes his hand, they get out (Frank gets out and he doesn’t look back, doesn’t have to, Billy takes what he can and he runs, it comes back to haunt him)

 

“You missed the game.”  Curtis says, opening Frank’s door (there isn’t any judgment in his eyes and there never will be, it’s Curtis and he’s seen men worse than Billy, worse than Frank, and helps them anyway)

“I was in the neighborhood,”  He dislikes how naked he feels in front, even in his best suit and his nice car because they don’t care about that shit. “I brought beer?”  Curtis just turns and lets him in.

“Is that the asshole?” _‘asshole?’_  And Maria’s thoughts are still loud and piercing in his head but she tips her drink at him.

Frank, does what he always does, he looks at him (and Billy can’t hear his thoughts, hears nothing, in particular, he feels shut out, defensive)

“C’mere,” Frank says, against his better judgment Billy follows.

Frank grips the back of his neck and pulls him in close.

‘ _I’m going after them._ ’  His words are as warm as they always are, even as they send a cold shiver through Billy’s body. ‘ _Promise not to stab me in the back?_ ’

“I can’t make that promise.”  Billy says, he means it and Frank nods (because he’s always known Billy will choose himself over this) “But I can tell you where to start.”  And that is more than he thought he could offer, more than he trusts himself to give, because with Frank he wants to be good, wants to help, and that horrifies because that’s better than he thought he was.

“Stay tonight?”  Frank looks almost hopeful and Billy wishes he didn’t have to see that look in his eyes, leans in, presses his lips to Frank (it doesn’t feel like home no matter what his heart tries to tell him)

“If you’ll have me.”

When Frank touches him that night it’s almost soft, too soft and Billy hates every second, even as he moans into Frank’s neck, even as he holds him tight.  There is no apology in him, even as Frank fucks deep, searching for it, he would do it all again the same way but he missed this, missed the heavy feeling of Frank on his back, the tight hands on his hips.  The thoughts that keep spilling over complimenting his hair, his eyes. There is so much affection in the way Frank fucks him, even now when Billy can feel the resignation in his body. Billy won’t change, even for him.

 

“I’m not that type of hero.”

“You could be.”

 

They leave Rawlins on Madini’s porch, a skull cut into the back of his head.

Micro hugs his family, tells his son that superheroes are real.

 

“I knew you could do it.”  Frank says, and he’s covered in blood, none of it his.

“Don’t press it.”  Billy says, electricity courses up his body. Rawlins would have betrayed him eventually, he was just thinking ahead.  He looks down at the mask in his hand, sees the way the lines of blood crisscross over like a puzzle (as far as designs go, it’s not one he would have chosen himself but it fits, he might just keep it)

‘ _I love you_.’  It’s not the first time Frank’s thought this at him but it is the first time when Frank looks like this, suit still on, domino mask hanging from his hands (he wanted Rawlins to see his face, wanted this kill to be Frank Castle’s, not the Punisher’s)

He doesn’t know what exactly Frank sees on his face or feels in his emotions but Frank smiles and it lights up his whole face. Billy doesn’t look away.

Kissing Frank while he’s covered in blood reminds him of war, reminds him of dusty handjobs, reminds him of dying soldiers and explosions as Frank told him to stay behind in Kandahar.

But being held in the air like this, the wind whipping his hair, his lips pressed to Frank’s, Frank’s hand cupping his neck with a gentleness that he’ll never talk about, that’s all new and something he could learn to love, in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Frank's costume is a Superman/Batman combination obviously with the Punisher symbol and not the S.  
> He sometimes wears a cape but when he rides on the motorcycle he wears a leather jacket.  
> (His powers are just because I wanted him to get a Superman moment with Karen tbh, he can feel strong emotions and just confused them for his own)
> 
> Billy's is a current Nightwing ish, with the black and blue, when he has the helmet he gets called a discount iron man and pouts for like two weeks, he likes his mask much better.  
> (His powers represent his control/masks, he can hear the thoughts of those he's extremely close too)
> 
> When they meet the Daredevil team, Maria wears a domino mask and a blonde wig, she uses her electrical degree to create gadgets and eventually her own powered suit to avenge her sister.  
> Curtis gives them clients and doesn't really need a costume, no one connects him to them because the leg distracts them. After the bomb incident, Billy makes him train and he also gets a suit eventually.  
> Micro joins the team as a hacker after they take down Rawlins.  
> The Daredevil team helps out on occasion, with a lot of complaining. 
> 
> Nick Fury tries to recruit them, Billy laughs in his face, Frank does a lot of nervous saluting but turns him down.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: consistenthero


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